She craved everything that Joleen had: a nice, normal house with a nice, normal, loving set of parents and loving siblings. She was also envious of how happy and outgoing and confident Joleen was, which she could never muster from herself. Her home life left her feeling dirty and ashamed, and she didn't dare try to make any other friends, fearful that someone might discover what actually went on in her life everyday after school. Joleen was a perfect best friend, because whenever she asked to go to Tavia's house Tavia would just say that her brothers and Father were slobs, and that she didn't want Joleen to see the mess. Joleen never pressed the issue, and she had know idea how much Tavia loved and respected her for it.She would stay at Joleen's right until Sunday evening, usually telling her Father that they had long school projects to work on together. In reality they only had one class together, math, which had very little group work throughout the duration of the course. Sunday. Dad had come into the house without my hearing and caught me in the act of playing Peeping Tom.Both my parents shamed me in front of Beth and threatened a severe beating if I ever pulled a stunt like that again. This absolutely and completely embarrassed me, and I was almost afraid to look Beth in the eye. She never mentioned it, though, and acted as if everything were okay. Not once, in later life was the subject ever brought up. Not once, either, did I ever try again to peep at Beth.Beth and I both finished growing up. I went to college and so did Beth. After we finished college, I got a job in Los Angeles and Beth in Philadelphia. We saw each other only on visits back to the farm, and gradually we drifted apart, with occasional letters being our only contact.Neither of us married. I don't know what reason Beth had for staying single, but my reason was shyness around girls and a rather plain appearance. Also, in my mind the ideal girl was one just like Beth, and I could never find.
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